Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
7分，有些桥段真的是爆笑，真的很恶俗趣味。漫威和DC都被鞭尸个遍。这黄金组合撑起了法国喜剧的半壁江山。
3.5星。推理戏份是近年最多的，且不那么弱智了，好评。但反派有点前后人设不符，对不起笑出声。动作戏还是一如既往的离谱，超越物理学，化学和材料学的极限。这点细枝末节的地方稍微注意一下，能好看更多。
作画好丑好丑。
搞笑就完事了。最后的失忆反转狗尾续貂。女朋友特别法式风情，美！
前半稍平淡，爆点集中在后边，尤其是山寨复仇者联盟大战灭霸的部分能把人笑疯，非常有趣的片子。法国版城市猎人团队的新作，看来以后可以重点关注一下这群人演的片子了。
不行 是真的不行 宣传搞高佐欺诈就很无语 年年宣传欺诈 我真的会恨！明年再搞我真的要大骂特骂了ok
原本以为用一部长片讲一个对现实存在如此尖锐讽刺的主题应该会有更深层的探讨，但是没有，还是停留在了做表面b级笑点的阶段。不过喜剧的部分做的确实很扎实，近些年最好笑的喜剧片之一了，尤其连巴黎圣母院火灾，亚历克鲍德温误杀都能解构且并无冒犯感确实可见水准。不过依然认为漫威现在的影视执行团队实在该看看这片，就说一件事，这部电影里所谓恶搞拍出来的badman的动作戏，难道不都碾压所有漫威剧集的动作戏吗？
但是根源还是倒霉蛋的爱情故事和亲情和解片诶
名字没起错，真超有超级英雄！！
1小时5分后爆笑，梗埋的也挺好，最后的karcher广告，让我忍不住看了看家里的同款（手动狗头
近年柯南剧场版来最喜欢的了！警校五人组太棒了👏
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈真的太搞笑了，各种吐槽抛梗和恶趣味hhhhhhhhhhhh
满屏幕的缺预算，优点是它对柯南剧情的推进比过去两年青山在漫画里做的都多
就真的还可以！可以说是一部花了钱的灾难大片！
法国人的喜剧细胞是一脉相承的，这片又把各种超英梗玩了个遍，简单的快乐让我笑得宛若智障~
終盤は急に展開がシュールすぎてもう何なんって感じだった…あとど偏見かもしれんけど、ここ数年のコナンの劇場版に出てた行政側の役はお人好しすぎなくない？逆に悪役って大体サイコパスか、今回のようなテロリストの2パターンしかなくて、人物造形チョロすぎ。いくら子供ウケ求めようともほどがあるのでは？
也不是很好笑 恶搞也就平平无奇的程度 本质还是下三滥喜剧
笑死我了，蝙蝠侠超人蜘蛛侠x战警复联一个没落下，还要顺带黑一把阿汤哥的翘臀哈哈哈哈哈哈，这种时长短，笑点密集的喜剧看完简直浑身舒适！菲利普拉肖allez啊！答应我下一部片子还要这么搞笑好吗🤣
不知道是因为我变了吗还是什么，简直是大有玄机啊！一边看柯南一边悟道：
毫无节操恶搞超英，虽然比起老美来法国佬还是太拘束了但是依旧很好笑哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，我终于懂了超级英雄为什么要内裤外穿，笑疯了
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